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9/22/26 - Christopher Robin

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The work week has started a little rough in some ways. Got that crick in my back already, I don't feel like a kid this week, thank God. I feel so old, and so tired. Left the wet clothes in the washer so I gotta do it over again. Missed Manal's texts, but Remas assured me she's alright. Gnats re-nesting in the sink drain, too much laundry to stomach. Car keys stopped working, had to walk down 8 Mile to get a fix. But I liked the walk. At first it seemed like a terrible hassle, but... I love the day when I'm outside in the air. Headin' down a street just too familiar, it let me see it with open eyes, my misfortune. I had that jazz in my head, those keyboards and fingers I'll always see in the beige and grey. I remembered the tinny familiarity of dreams in the rough, stepping aside the pit to let the sky wash over me as I find my place as one of the millions once again. One of the billions, let me stand corrected. I was thinking about what she might be. I'm thi...
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9/21/26 - 546

I almost forgot how good I was at crying in silence until today. It's like I'm at the pharmacy again. Just another day.
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9/15/26 - The Many Minutes of Malaise (Camera)

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My journey has brought me to an understanding Of the divine forces which we have all been bestowed It was in this search that I came upon a revelation Which has called me to guide millions of people towards their righteous destiny I bet I'll miss the apocalypse as consequence for forgetting to buy a ticket. Found out Persephone is gonna be in town when I'm elsewhere, and my nerve center's up the creek with that pollution all over again. This album is gonna suck ass. As I get it together, I can smell something on it indicative of my constitution at this moment. It sounds like the lady putting it together, ugh... So be it, so be it. I mope a little too much, don't I? My coworkers would never know I'm a chronic extrovert. I'm in a conjunctive malaise with Galahad. It's all coming together, but it doesn't look like the last picture. It's like grease, it's gristle. It's not the vegetative growth I was working through on the first act. It's com...
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9/9/26 - Possibly Maybe

I'm eager to fall in love with her
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9/1/26 - Niagara Falls

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And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe That light I never knowed And it ain't no use in turning on your light, babe I'm on the dark side of the road But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say To try and make me change my mind and stay But we never did too much talking anyway But don't think twice, it's all right Slow progress on the projects right now. My uncertain health has made it difficult to rest my head in a spot that feels comfortable. I can't think about the tender things while my room is so dirty, y'know. I can't help but think... it's okay that it's ending. It's okay that it's too late. I've done my best. I'm gonna live to be a hundred years old, all through trying my best. I can't wait to see fifty, that much I'm sure of. It's going to be a painful world we'll see. The times approaching are unsightly. I'm ready for it. No matter what happens. I cant wait to grow old. I can...
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8/24/26 - Friends

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Yeah, there's a horse on my back And I may be stomped flat But my loneliness is gone All my loneliness is gone There's a horse on my back Gives me all that I need I've experienced an emotional and psychological breakdown. The last week saw a period of crying spells, delirium, chronic pain, hallucinations, mania, and psychosis. None of this is exaggerated. All because I hate my job, I hate my home life, and I hate the world I am living in. It was so bad last week that I believed that aliens were real, and that I was an alien and everybody knew but me, and everybody saw a fucked up alien face and body but I couldn't see it cause of space illusion magic, and that if I was alone the other Crystal Gem Steven Universe Aliens were gonna come kill me. All because somebody made an (admittedly well made/clever) analogue horror creepy pasta thing about a children's cartoon that I, in fact, loved as a kid. I developed this 2-3 day psychosis that I'm still coming down from b...
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8/18/26 - Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

It's not fun music. Not that I don't like that stuff, y'know. It's worthy music, worthy effort. It's just not what I want. I want something else. The problem is that ideas are given to me by the air. I can't help but recieve it. I just feel like we've done enough of that for now. There's no way to express that without sounding like a snob, like a dickhead. But I don't care anymore. Kick, Snare, Kick, Snare, Oscillator, Sidechain, Groggy Voice. I love it too much. I want to be less affected by it. I've been doing too many mental push-ups for that discipline that I don't like it anymore. The real stars of my generation can handle that world. They've got it good. They're the genuises we needed for that world. I mean that, really. I think, like Pinkpantheress or Underscores for example, they're genuises. I guess I would like to try and know if we've got it in us to be about some other stuff. I want to create a different kind of fe...
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