HK Blog

Right now I'm on the couch at Big Pink thinking about Kate Bush. I did my nails in the car, yknow. Solid job. You gotta understand that The Dreaming is tungsten, diamond. The heart of star, a bozon, a quark. It will never leave you. The club is not the right place to write, but it's why I come in early. For me, its essential. I need something loud to put me in the space of the now. It helps me think about what I really need to be. I come to find that I'm the sickest bitch in the fucking world. In the entire fucking world. It's not in my nature to typically regard myself in high esteem, but there is a truth of my personhood I find it difficult to deny. I am everything I wished I could be when I was younger. It's something really unique to find yourself atop the hill. Knowing my worth has put me in a state of caution. I can't let this feeling turn into narcissism, I can't let myself get distracted from the mission of culture and kindness. My mission isn't...

In hindsight the lesson is: do not experiment with alcohol. Maybe it is better to be a sad drunk, rather than a... weird drunk. Ill be going back to BP soon anyways. Have a good one, guys!

To be honest I've been regretting my actions a lot. I pushed away a friend of mine by oversharing, being parasocial, having weird vibes and sending the wrong signals. It was entirely my fault, I know it. They would never tell me if I actually fucked up, but I know in the back of my mind that they don't want to talk to me or see anything about me anymore. Its okay, I guess. It's their right to set a boundary. I was thinking maybe I should remove all of their accounts from my followers, but I can't help but feel like thats antagonistic towards them. It's their call, I guess. I feel like I have to clarify that, just because I talk about being victimized on here, doesn't mean that I'm not still a very flawed person. I have turned down the wrong road many, many times. I'm not always easy to be around. I won't try to make myself into some kinda superhero, I'm really not important. I'm just a regular person who happens to write a lot, who is thinkin...

  I got a date with the good eleven... Never gave me any trouble till after nine... Good, good good good eleven, mmm... Yes, eleven will always be a friend of mine... All love to Bob Dorough. My tastes are pulling me towards the doughy and Pollyanna. That's why I kept quoting Everyday by Buddy Holly and the Crickets. I get put into the mind of that glorious take from Elvis on Blue Moon. That song would end up influencing Roy Orbison a great deal. Blue Moon... You saw me standing alone... Without a dream in my heart... Without a love of my own... I could go for a long drive downtown, let myself run under the speed limit a little. I could let the Miracles play, if I download their stuff, rip it. You know Smokey raped several young women? Devastating, I know. So, I can't give a cent to 'im. A shame cause that one song is encrusted with the glitter of dreams and memories, a truly golden track. I'm just a bard at, the end of my rope... But I can't stop trying... I can...

"Why do I feel so tired?" I literally ate burgers, steak, and drank beer today. And all I did was laundry and reading, I'm steadily getting through Berserk, yknow. I just finished Super Deluxe Volume 4, so I just got to the Eclipse. What a harrowing betrayal, no amount of spoilers can really prepare you. Miura did something magical with The Golden Age, you almost feel like you yourself are a member of the Band of the Hawk. Seeing them experience that feels like watching a family member get the electric chair. I'm starting to miss smoking. Not the pen, not vaping, no. I mean the rolls, yknow, flower. I kind of miss being able to bum one, I just want to sit down and smoke to be honest. I like drinking well enough, but there's a lot more risks, yknow? And yet in that, I saw that precious little harmlessness in this moment in Detroit. Downtown you could leave your phone at a bar table and come back the next day and nobody even touched it. Nobody gives a shit. The Lion...