It is within his right.
The delusion has returned with some force, it's more sobered in it's approach but it's lingering, still.
I have a certain method but I know its not industry standard. It's what I used for Die Geier.
Thinking about the groove that guy had with his drum machine, it was so classic! I'm glad he was there, he was the coolest part of Space Dive.
They pushed my start date back to the 9th. So no money for even longer. Whatever. I'll put to bed my aspirations of being around other people for at least another two weeks.
Let me tell you my plan, for my birthday.
I didn't want to formally invite anybody, I feel like there's some weight to making that decision. Like the last thing I wanna do is make somebody feel excluded just because I forgot to do something. I was neurotic enough to put my friend in an awkward position just the other day on Instagram. That little stunt might have costed me.
But anyways, the idea for my Birthday link was what we call the "Free Beer Birthday."
The idea is that GF and I will plant ourselves in Palmer Park, right next to Woodward, and we'll bring a decent smattering of free beers in a cooler. We'll have a little tent and foldout chairs. We bring our equipment and play music the whole time, we work on new stuff, too. GF might even do a set. Everybody's invited. Anybody can come over to hang out and drink, for as long or as little as they want.
The low comittment setting is purely to soothe my ego in the event that almost nobody shows up. I expect maybe one or two of my folks, maybe more of GF's people.
Only obstacle is parking. As in, where would the visitors park? I'm gonna scope that out myself today, actually.
All I really want to do for my birthday is be around friends. I don't ever get to do that on my birthday, never a good time. This year it lands on a Wednesday. Not a great day for celebrations.
We might do karaoke, too. We're still in the planning phase.
I don't know what's come over me but I feel like I'm having an ugly day. Two days ago I looked good, I don't know what happened. I guess it happens.
Whatever.
The bombing has gotten worse lately in Gaza, and GFM still hasn't resumed transfers for the trio's campaign. Part of me feels like nobody cares about this sort of thing anymore. It's irritating.
I want to take a break from social media but also I need to keep contact with Remas.
Decisions. I'm trying to do a bit of both. Not working!
Still kind of dreading this new job but at least I start after my birthday. I've been dreading my birthday ever since that awful talk I had with my parents. This plan I've got should help me get my mind away from that feeling, hopefully.
Good things happening in the network, at least. There's still a bit of hope.
The scope of my life is so small. Everything is so fickle. All these gripes, they're so minimal. There's still a bit of hope.
