HK Blog

I've been feeling ungrateful lately.  The active emotion I felt upon waking up today was fear. I'm not going outside as often as I used to. I'm afraid of being seen. I don't want to make other people uncomfortable, and it's a bit of trap, isn't it? Not very becoming of a public  documenter to be agoraphobic, antisocial. Maybe it's the isolation. Self imposed, I might add. My confidence, and well-being these days, is largely influenced by how flush I am at a given moment. Just one responsibility drains it all back to nothing, is the thing. I feel confident to face my friends when I have enough to ensure I can provide for them in a outing. How superficial, how trite! Sometimes I love myself, I can be a little vain, can't I? I was taking my estrogen, and my girlfriend touched their nose to mine, to kiss me while my mouth was unavailable. Very cute. I guess they're why I keep up the search, why I bother trying to stay afloat in the job pool at all. I bel...

I am going to ignore talking about my feelings today so I can write about something else. I've been working on a new project lately, something of a Frankenstein of several different ideas I've had here and there. I've been struck with a period of real creativity as of late. This is harder than I thought it would be. I'm not going to talk about that. I'm gonna change my idea. I'm gonna talk about a specific ideation, and leave everything else alone. I think about how often I've been to Canada. It really is just a quick drive from where I live. I realize, it might be dangerous it give away my location on the internet... but I feel, at this moment, I don't care about that anymore. I think about driving a lot. I think about paying the toll for the Ambassador Bridge. It would be so easy, to just run away. I could get through customs, I've done it before. Not too difficult. I would start in Windsor, just find what roads go North, and I would drive away. I ...