HK Blog

And now I'm starting to know where this is coming from. It's pervert shit, it's mental illness. And it's great. It's about privilege, being bored. I love the Lord, but I need him to do some more work on me. I keep wanting what she said in that movie. I need one of them to do that to me. I'm watching Midnight Cowboy. Excellent flick. Its another pervert movie. First Blue Velvet, and now this. They say faggot a lot in the movie, its a little funny now. I guess I'm one of them now, anyway. They only ever called me that one time, and they were right. I always put my heart in the wrong places with who I pine after. I keep wanting to just find a way, but I know what guys like. It's not me. It has never been me.  I feel like I didn't get a chance to really know that world. I missed it all. I'm still learning, about cleaning out, and how I keep up tidy for the right guy. Douching sounds like so much work. It's a bit embarrassing to even talk about it...