Well, there's so many sinking now
You gotta keep thinking
You can make it through these waves
Acid, booze, and ass
Needles, guns, and grass
Lots of laughs...
I haven't heard from Manal in some days. Every time I happens it feels like the first time. I can't ever get used to it.
I do love my friends. I love them dearly. I just don't think I can love them the right way. It's not anything I can put into words, beyond stating that I like where we are. But I know they don't.
I don't want to hurt them. I want to spend every day with them. But I can't give up, not on this. I've come so far... what am I so worried about?
So many dreams realized, so many aspirations achieved. And I'm looking down the slope of the hill, and pit forms in my stomach.
Everybody's saying that
Hell's the hippest way to go
Well, I don't think so
But I'm gonna take a look around it, though
Blue, I love you
What can I do for her?
Should I forget her? Maybe I'm wrong?
But I just can't say that's true. She makes an effort for me, and I for her. Why do we keep it up?
She's never gonna leave him. She speaks to a need of hers. Theres a symbiosis I have not seen in action. Something I can never deny her.
Because I love her, I can't get in the way of what she really wants. She's holding fast to it, it's her.
It's always her, when I look to the end of the week.
In my life there is much disappointment, you know this. A rot that can never be clean. Externalities, but also my habits. My contentions.
That's my blue.
I don't want to do anything but what she wants. I want her as she wants to be. I want so badly to hold her, to hear her voice again.
I feel that I am not fit for her serenity. I want to learn about the un-glamorous truths. I want to know her beyond the beauty. I want to know this human, fully.
But I have to make myself honest for her. I cannot give in to anything. But it's her, y'know...
Ill tell you if anything changes.
