HK Blog

I am trying not to let this week consume me. I haven't gotten any sleep. All I do is work. All I do is serve, and I'm not getting anything from it but the grace of another day. I am fully equipped to weather the atmosphere of the working class nightmare. I just wish I had something I could touch to bring me respite. Music is what has saved me in this trying time. I was listening to 45 by Kino. I believe this is my favorite of Tsoi's work. As much as I love the later stuff, there is a genius in these tracks that is undeniable. I am trying so hard to weather this cold, but my life has been prohibitive of leisure lately. My sister has problems with their blasted shitbox, so I have to drive them everywhere... again. This is just like in College and High School, and that was the worst. Mom was expressing to me how she thinks I sound like her back then, and I agreed. All I did the last 3 days was drive. Drive, drive, drive. I sleep three hours ...

No matter what words I use I am not angry enough. In my heart I want to reject what I know. I want to reject the truth that violence is power as much as community. In Minneapolis I choose to see hope. In myself I choose to see unease, restless hatred. In my heart I choose to see sadness. I don't know how much longer it will be. I am waiting for my strength to die. I fear I will hurt myself. That I will throw myself into the wandering eyes of the machine. In my heart I fear it is certain. I my heart I take refuge in continuity. I take refuge in knowledge. We are that which was born from the fall before us. And humanity prevails every time. How much longer until we lose that providence? If God is electrons and quarks, what does it mean to ignore material constants? Is there nothing she can tell us? I gotta do an update to the GFM if she can't hit back soon. Not her fault. Pad Thai is good, but I question whether chestnuts are good enough to warrant roasting in the more festive ca...