HK Blog

I've found peace in the knowledge that I really don't know what I'm doing. I have no direction anymore, and yet the potential to do so much shit. I just gotta figure what seems like life for me. I had the weirdest lunch ever. Green Beans, Smoked Oysters, Ritz Crackers, and some other thing I forget. My breath probably smells like taint. I didn't want to spend money on lunch this week so I just brought whatever the fuck from home, y'know. I had the best time with French Guy on Monday, it helped remind me what I knew about myself. After that, I was able to make my work friend into a real friend. She knows I'm trans and stuff, y'know, if that helps. Oh Caroline, you... I gotta know what budget to work with if I'm gonna save up. I know where I'm going after probation ends. I'm going to Chicago, and then New York, and then after that? Might do somewhere weird. Might go somewhere where I don't speak the language. While writing, I'm put into a s...

I changed my mind on playing around with racy material on Picsart. Here are uncropped edits

The chest feels unsure, lightened with the flutter of wings. Everything came into place for just a moment... it was a simplicity so intoxicating. It's enough to drive me mad. The feeling of grey takes shape in my heart for another time, in the same place. The sky outside is blue, and the weather is nice... it feels inappropriate to be so temperamental. It's started to affect my personality; I can't maintain my best self as much as I'd wish to anymore. I remember last night, I had a blast. I met with French Guy! French Guy is awesome! So then, it's confusing that I'm thinking like this. Even the way I'm writing conveys more emotion than is authentic to my current condition. I haven't felt like this in a very long time. Not since High School. I could do a desk job. I'm ready for it. I might get a gig at a call center soon. Skip this gig, y'know. I do good stuff in this job, but my supervisor hates me. It's whatever. I'll get a job where my ...

The second part of the experiment was SO. FUN! Before the experiment, I was able to unwind with my family at the apple orchard. Haven't visited in a BRICK, but Blakes is still fun! Everything went so well. Something nice with the family... something nice amidst the fog. I felt about the same as when I got off from the movie club at work on Friday, WHICH WENT GREAT, by the way. They all liked Godzilla ! Coming out of work, I thought I should revisit my spot to see if I still like it there. I also thought, if I go to Spotlite next, I can see what's better. And so, the experiment began. You already read the terrible results of Big Pink night. That was tragic. I had to have a similar amount of alcohol in my system to make it work for Saturday, which I succeeded in achieving. Hard Cider instead of Gingermeister. Going into night two of clubbing, I absolutely needed to see a difference in atmosphere and ambience. Big Pink has been my number one for a while, and Spotlite has been my s...