10/7/25 - Psycho

To be honest I've been regretting my actions a lot. I pushed away a friend of mine by oversharing, being parasocial, having weird vibes and sending the wrong signals. It was entirely my fault, I know it. They would never tell me if I actually fucked up, but I know in the back of my mind that they don't want to talk to me or see anything about me anymore. Its okay, I guess. It's their right to set a boundary. I was thinking maybe I should remove all of their accounts from my followers, but I can't help but feel like thats antagonistic towards them. It's their call, I guess.

I feel like I have to clarify that, just because I talk about being victimized on here, doesn't mean that I'm not still a very flawed person. I have turned down the wrong road many, many times. I'm not always easy to be around. I won't try to make myself into some kinda superhero, I'm really not important. I'm just a regular person who happens to write a lot, who is thinking all the time.

Neither Remas or Manal have responded in a few days. I hope they're okay. If I can't communicate with Manal for another 3 weeks, I will be shutting down the campaign entirely. I can't in good conscience handle money for a family that I have no proof of life of.

Things fall apart some times, but I am really dreading the possibility that they've been killed by Israel. If that ever happened you might never hear from me again. Serious, guys.

Work will probably be okay. I'll tell you if the families get back to me.