"Sometimes, it's best to remember wisdom. Sometimes, I must remember that I all I can ever know is that I don't know anything. I have no idea who anybody ever is." This is the only section of my original entry for today that I still believe is true. I believe it is the only passage that authentically conveys what is in my heart. It's now been a good 13 hours since I left Big Pink. That's right, I ended up going, had a blast. People liked my dancing again, that's always nice to hear. TV Lounge was nice too, the music was better, but its a great place to sit down and let my mind slip away. It was in doing that I realized that very same sadness you see in quotes. Sometimes I read my past entries, and I notice what I've lost about myself. I used to be a more poetic person, a more verbose person, before this job stripped all of that out of me. I used to be someone worth knowing. I think that day, the day of my first call-off, was the day that ruined it all....
The confusion has taken over. You have to be wanted to be welcomed. You have to be familiar to be family. I am a stranger. My coworkers don't like me anymore. It's just a job again. I don't know what I expected. It's only halfway through probation, and I'm already looking down the barrel. Yesterday a staff member said they saw a mouse in the broom closet. I kept thinking I should let it bite me so I could get some paid time off. The right people are talking to me again, and I'm still down the well. So it's a me problem. And there's a stalker of some sorts who's been coming in to work for weeks. Every day. He's making the ladies uncomfortable. I shouldn't be surprised, it's everywhere. It's in the water. One of the kids came into work and I almost felt like I didn't wanna die again. They're more interesting to talk to. Maybe that's the wrong thing to think. Some of my coworkers hate these kids. Maybe they're right and I...
Right now I'm helping my coworker run his archery class. It is exactly as fun as you'd think. He's a regular Robert of Locksley, right here on Myers and Lyndon. And for the moment, we in this class are his merry men of Sherwood. I am not very talented with the use of compound bows, I much prefer the recurve. Good things do happen in our corner of the West Side. I was able to reactivate my PayPal, and Manal is working on getting theirs active again. If I can just community with the lady who managed Remas' campaign to get control of it, all will be by my side. All will be by my side... Everything in the realm of want becomes animated through dreams. Nothing that I want can be had so easily. Nothing that I need will appear when it's convenient. I simply have to be ready to receive the messages the world wants to send. All the dreams I waited so long... Fly tonight, so long, so long... It's actually a horrific character flaw to yearn, y'know. They sa...
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