6/11/25 - Archival Post 2 - Till I Die

I could never play team sports. I get yelled at once and I feel like ripping open a suicide vest.

Whatever.

I'm still not feeling happy with my life right now, so I'm not going to write a lot of stuff today. I don't think it's very pleasant to read that sort of venting.

My feet hurt from work, and walking with nowhere to sit. I couldn't get into the gf's apartment for hours after I got off work and every building was closed. This is what I get for relying on others. I asked my parents for $20, so I could afford Gas tommorow. I felt so ashamed. They gave me 40. I've only very recently started asking my parents for anything. I spent several months refusing to ask for help. I would have one meal a day for a long time because of my living situation.

I don't want to live here anymore. I am tired of being here. I don't want to make myself beholden to somebody else's schedule and time. I am tired of empathy. I don't want to have everybody else's back anymore. Who's going to look out for me, for once?

That is all for today.

Rest in Peace Brian Wilson

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