It sucks that Patti Smith is as incredible as she is, especially given that she has mostly good politics, because then it's like... why did you name your song that? I still stan, though I reserve the right to pass judgement on that particular thing.
The only reason I'm thinking about this is because I'm currently listening to Horses.
I was lookin' for yo-o-uuuu, and now you're gone-gone
I don't know why specifically Redondo Beach is my favorite song she did, I think maybe there's just something wrong with me.
I got pushed so far into the artsy weirdo pocket that in my eyes, the idea of writing lyrics and singing on a track feels like making "normal music." And it is NOT. Despite my bias. I think given my fundamentals as a musician and techno head, my capacity to enjoy the process of writing lyric-focused stuff has been stunted. Severely stunted. I feel like I've also been falling into a certain trap with comparing myself to everyone else. Like, I don't want to make music like Charli XCX, so why am I thinking "I don't think Charli would like this," ???? Like? The brain worms are potent, y'know.
This lady at work is fucking PISSED that she lost her kid. I was teaching a class in the computer lab, so I had no ability to know whether a kid in boxing left the building or not. I hope she's just in the bathroom or something, I couldn't stomach the idea her kid wandered off somewhere. This is the part of my job that makes me uncomfortable.
This music is the kind of stuff that would be in a weird segment of an adult animated movie where the characters get high or some trite thing like that. When I'm high I feel like watching Thomas The Tank Engine, how are you guys listening to Primus?
I saw the news about the Flotilla... I'm genuinely trying not to cry. I can't do this right now.
Seeing the news knocked the wind out of me. When I got home from work after hearing the news, I was thrown into a world of grey. I don't see anything right now. I don't want to feel anything right now.
I literally just sat on the couch making an edit about my body image problems. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I do that? Why am I like this? I can't stomach myself today.
I made a new friend at work. I just wish that today was a good day for those people. It should have been a good day for those kids in Gaza.
I'm sorry guys. I had to stop writing for a second to wipe my face. I feel like writing that out, reading that out, that probably sounds fake as fuck. It probably sounds like I'm playing it up for you guys. Im really not. I'm crying right now and I'm so fucking upset.
Why did the world decide being a good person wasn't cool anymore? Why is this the world you people want? I don't understand you people, why do you want this? Why do you want this? I don't understand. I can't understand. Im trying so hard to keep it together and be a good adult about all of this, but I can't! I can't!
I'm gonna record. I'm gonna think, I'm gonna move. They deserve a better world than this. They deserve a better species than ours.
Ill see you soon guys.
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