Now, I don't think I'm special or anything, I'm not Superman y'know. But I have to say that doing just the peaceful kind stuff is starting to bug me. It's a bug in my brain. I can't help but feel like we all have a call to action that we're just too afraid to heed. We're afraid for the right reasons, of course... but I think we might need to do it afraid. "Do it afraid" has been so helpful to me.
The only Palestinian who seems to always be in my DMs is this guy who has learned my pay schedule and demands money every day. It's a little hawkish. I'm not sure what to do in that situation. It's weird, because nobody can say that a person living through a genocide doesn't have the right to use all the tools at their disposal to get support. No telling how desperate we'd all be in the same situation. The history of how enslaved and imprisoned people manage to survive with very few options available shows that stuff like this is known quantity. But, I feel like there is definitely some grey area in this stuff, where an overt, targeted persistence on certain people based on name-searching groupchats can be a bit questionable. If Ahmed didn't tell me about that, I probably would have never known that was a thing they're doing. I'm not interested in browbeating some of the most vulnerable people on the planet, so I'll end this here.
This stuff is so fucking weird.
It's so goddamn weird.
I need Remas and Manal to respond back, I'm getting worried. I know E-Sim service is pretty bad. I just really want to know they're alive.
This is a form of "activism" that I never thought would be a thing, you know. It's like, bizarre. Weird. I don't think I like it. I will continue to help as much as I can, but I feel like this is just too... modern? Talking to a concentration camp prisoner on WhatsApp to talk about when we might transfer donation money from the internet, right after having a ki with a different prisoner (love Remas that's my girl) about your favorite kinds of tea and what coney dogs taste like. This whole global situation has completely warped my sense of normalcy. What the fuck is going on, is what I think every single day. I don't understand anything, actually.
Here's a different topic: I have a new name! I made it myself; I didn't want the name I use for the rest of my life to be one decided for me by my ex. There should also be a clarification, I'm not erasing/deadnaming "Gabriel Daniel," as much as I'm making those two middle names instead of a first and middle name. BUT... do not call me Gabriel, a little outdated. Gabe is okay for some of you guys, but I would prefer to be called by my chosen name.
It is a portmanteau of three different names. I have always loved the meaning and majesty of my original name, Gabriel. The name of a messenger archangel, known to play his horn at the end of days. He's just like me, because I quadruple text people and I play brass!
The other two names are names I've always loved, Adrienne and Audrey, but I could not in good conscience change my name to those because I used to know people with those names and they still follow me and that would seem weird, right?
My new name I decided on is Addrielle. I wanted to spell it Adriel, but my sister said the spelling wasn't feminine enough. Lame! But it's Addrielle! Call me what you like, but that is my name. Don't feel embarrassed if I introduce myself as that.
The song I'm thinking of is Love You To, by The Beatles. It was one of George Harrison's tracks on Revolver, a raag infused psych rock piece. That particular sound is a big influence on Hepburn right now.
It's always Hepburn, Hepburn, Hepburn with this bitch.
So Unseen is done, just have to do some saturation and eq. You guys have no idea how good you've got it on this project. You guys are swimming in the sauce here. Once I get Medusa and Chanel finished, it'll be halfway finished. The rest are our groove tracks! That's the real meat of the album, the deep cuts! The inspirations on those are Kraftwerk, Thomas Dolby, Stereolab, and Ballroom music (like when the dolls get down, not Rococo). There is a song you (yes, you) should check out called Get Out Of My Mix, by Thomas Dolby. Same guy who did She Blinded Me With Science.
This is such an awful time period to be doing fun stuff. I feel like a dickhead for having my life turn around. It's such a lame, dishonest feeling to have. But I'm happy! Somehow, I'm happy. And upset. At the same time!
God, make it make sense. Love you, see you soon.
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