Power went out in my building for hours, I took a nap. I was struck with the correct vision for the middle track of the project, Vampires Wearing Cardigans In Michigan. More Grouper, less Sonic Youth.
The malaise of a new beginning... the dirge like slurry of urban conflict, the morrow pressing against the mountains of stagnation. Peppered morsels of knowledge sitting on this plate in front of me, but it's presented on a most unserious dish.
It's the Niagara Falls Rainforest Cafe plastic plate that my Mom bought my sister and I, from back way back in my early childhood.
And yet I've had a lot of fun in the days preceding this nothingness. I made a new friend, and got sushi. I gossiped and joked around for hours with some dear friends on Saturday. I looked over the savings totals for the donations, I want to transfer soon. Manal needs something. Anything.
I need to be more vigilant of the urgency. I've let myself enjoy everything too much.
... That's not gonna stop me. I'm too tickled to quit my musing. I know my worth, now. I haven't felt depressed in two months. There are times where I believed I was in that season again... I was wrong. There is such a different resolve within me, these days.
I put up posters downtown in the freezing cold. Nearly frostbitten, I taped ads to the people mover pylons and lamposts. I'll do it again, soon. I will. I will....
And that's not the end of our campaign towards recognition. We will be painting. And we will be braver: we will be busking, soon. In the cold, of course.
I am determined because I know the value of this project. I know what I have is worth the grace of reaching many ears, to mobilize millions towards a future for culture. I believe it. I think maybe I must dabble in a bit of narcissism in order to motivate myself towards achieving this dream. I wish that wasn't the case, but oh, it is fun, isn't it?
"Adri we love having you over," is a sentence I never thought I'd hear. I think life can be good, sometimes. Sometimes God shows me something like this, something that heals something I didn't think was broken.
I loved Trumbullplex too... what an essential place. What a holy place. We must protect places like these.
I do like this version of myself. I will never go back, oh, I could never tiptoe towards a diminished presence.
I want to... no. I wave like Princess Diana, and see myself out of the room of delusion and longing. I can work out the funk of it, you know... this is Adri on the phone. Yes, I can hear you.
Tell me about your worries. Let me loosen that knot in your heart. I want to offer you the strength to do what you'd like. Even if what you'd like is to leave me. I want to reassure your sovereignty.
I will begin reading Patti's book about her bond with Robert Mappelthorpe. I want to understand that sort of connection again. I want to engross myself in that reflection.
In the vocal production of this project, I find an undeniable likeness in approach to the Beach Boys on some tracks. Not a joke. I need to have a little hum harmony under it all. It makes it all make sense.
I'm still scrimping and saving, still doing my part to keep good on money. I'm saving to visit some friends, for as cheap as I can muster. I'll pack almost nothing, to make it work. A bomb shell for a carry on, that'll be fun.
https://aje.news/38eu3q
Try to read this for me.
I'll see you guys soon.
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