12/17/25 - Moon River

Moon River, Wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style, some day
Oh dream maker, You heartbreaker
Wherever you're going, I'm going your way
Two drifters, Off to see the world
Theres such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbows and waiting round the bend, a Huckleberry friend
Moon river, and me
There used to be an appeal to adopting liberated mindsets, choosing to cognate beyond the salt of the lay. It's an arrogant sort of thing, a spiteful sort of feeling, but my God... wasn't that necessary? There's nothing anymore. There's no confidence. People do not believe in the promise of themselves, and in the power of their creations.

People were quick to talk about that quote from Cameron Winter, but the guy wasn't lying, not a bit. That guy Timothy Chalamet, they like to debate the optics of his drive, his ambition.
I remember when they were interviewing Venus and her dad had to put that interviewer in his place for questioning her capability. People love to repost that moment, and let me tell you...
I'm seeing the tide turn. It's okay to be exceptional. It's more interesting to have passion.

I remember when I would fuck around with the Trumpet in Jazz Band back in high school. Oh, man, I had a blast with that thing. I remember I'd use my French Horn mouthpiece on it instead of my Trumpet mouthpiece to give it a different tone.

Ohhh let me tell you, it was crisp. Like biscoff cookie crumbs scattered on first class seats, it was like a fresh dollar bill, that new green on linen, ohhhhh... it was a sound that smelt like dry cleaning and your girlfriend's morning breath.

How do you even talk about it normally? I am afraid of Jazz. I know that it will take over my life if I give it the chance.

If I get a Trumpet for Christmas, you will never get a techno track out of me ever again. I'd be busking out at 3AM in Hart Plaza, wallahi...

I'm listening to Billie Holliday right now, I'm falling back into it. I was in the throes of a relapse when I allowed Fela Kuti back into my life. I gotta get put down like Harambe, oh my God. I'm listening to Charles Mingus, it's getting worse... Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

You know what exacerbated this relapse? Michel Legrand. I rewatched The Young Girls of Rochefort with my mom and sister... I might rewatch Cleo. Just for that scene... where she's singing with the room behind her and she's in the corner of the frame... father God almighty save me from myself.

It's the sort of feeling that almost makes me relish the shame of life. I can be a real prima donna.

Duete Solo Singers transforms into a rosetta stone, it becomes core text for everything rock has done for us. It's magnificent. What else do you need?

Oh, because I've never been a rockist. I just love Rock. I don't feel that we need to demand that music as a medium contorts to fit the shape of that spirit. There are so many different spirits and apparitions that create the atmospheres of our inner worlds. It can't just be Oxygen.

But I'm not a real Jazz fan. I don't like the right stuff. Nah. I like the real cool stuff. The good stuff makes me feel like I'm looking at my own cadaver under an Edison bulb. I like that feeling, but I'm kinda losing my head too often for that to be healthy. So I stick to the cool stuff.

I'm kind of getting that feeling right now as I'm listening to Sinner Lady. My Dad loves this stuff.

Whenever I get a horn in my hand, I instinctually start to lose my shit with it. I like to make it scream and roar and sound like a jet plane. A braver writer than me would comment on the psychosexual implications of this. I just love to have a metal noisemaker.

This album makes me feel insane. I'm getting a vision of my next project... I'm cursed to realize, I know exactly what Jolly Roger is gonna sound like.

I just yawned... I'm gonna put it up. I have fun talking about Jazz.

I'm gonna text her. I'll see you all soon.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

9/7/25 - 1800

"Sometimes, it's best to remember wisdom. Sometimes, I must remember that I all I can ever know is that I don't know anything. I have no idea who anybody ever is." This is the only section of my original entry for today that I still believe is true. I believe it is the only passage that authentically conveys what is in my heart. It's now been a good 13 hours since I left Big Pink. That's right, I ended up going, had a blast. People liked my dancing again, that's always nice to hear. TV Lounge was nice too, the music was better, but its a great place to sit down and let my mind slip away. It was in doing that I realized that very same sadness you see in quotes. Sometimes I read my past entries, and I notice what I've lost about myself. I used to be a more poetic person, a more verbose person, before this job stripped all of that out of me. I used to be someone worth knowing. I think that day, the day of my first call-off, was the day that ruined it all....
Read more

8/20/25 - Melinda Ledbetter

Image
The confusion has taken over. You have to be wanted to be welcomed. You have to be familiar to be family. I am a stranger. My coworkers don't like me anymore. It's just a job again. I don't know what I expected. It's only halfway through probation, and I'm already looking down the barrel. Yesterday a staff member said they saw a mouse in the broom closet. I kept thinking I should let it bite me so I could get some paid time off. The right people are talking to me again, and I'm still down the well. So it's a me problem. And there's a stalker of some sorts who's been coming in to work for weeks. Every day. He's making the ladies uncomfortable. I shouldn't be surprised, it's everywhere. It's in the water. One of the kids came into work and I almost felt like I didn't wanna die again. They're more interesting to talk to. Maybe that's the wrong thing to think. Some of my coworkers hate these kids. Maybe they're right and I...
Read more

10/22/25 - The Merry Men of Sherwood

Image
Right now I'm helping my coworker run his archery class. It is exactly as fun as you'd think. He's a regular Robert of Locksley, right here on Myers and Lyndon. And for the moment, we in this class are his merry men of Sherwood. I am not very talented with the use of compound bows, I much prefer the recurve. Good things do happen in our corner of the West Side. I was able to reactivate my PayPal, and Manal is working on getting theirs active again. If I can just community with the lady who managed Remas' campaign to get control of it, all will be by my side. All will be by my side... Everything in the realm of want becomes animated through dreams. Nothing that I want can be had so easily. Nothing that I need will appear when it's convenient. I simply have to be ready to receive the messages the world wants to send. All the dreams I waited so long... Fly tonight, so long, so long... It's actually a horrific character flaw to yearn, y'know. They sa...
Read more