It's just a matter of psychologically malajusted limerence. It will pass if I allow it to.
Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to the conference. Maybe I shouldn't have allowed myself the pleasure of her company, the warmth of her conversation.
Maybe it's just my imagination running away with me.
I just want her to say no. I want her to tell me to go away, to give it up. It's too much. This uncertainty is too much. I want to remember her in my every waking moment. I want to never think about her again. This is unnatural and emotionally perverse.
I want to stop asking her about her day. I want stop itching for that knowing. I want to be incurious about her feelings, her life, and her worries.
I can't stand knowing it. I've allowed myself to be infatuated again.
I have been blessed to have a gaggle of friends who love me quite enough. I'm not by any stretch starved of touch or affection, right...
So why can't I let myself forget these feelings? Why do I need to feel her embrace? Why can't I let myself be superficial?
For her, I wish I knew nothing.
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