8/3/26 - Lopin Through The Cosmos

I made a difficult decision yesterday.

I let go of my ego, and I let go of my illusions. My attatchments to those things I was hoping for. I think maybe that was the missing chemical, now that I'm thinking about it.

I let myself feel less. I'm not thinking as much. I'm not caring as much. I'm letting myself waste away a little bit.
I don't know if I like it or not. I think maybe it just needed to happen.

I dont have it in me to believe right now. It's getting so hard to believe ill ever see the sky, y'know.

I think the cynics are right. The bitter poison was always the necessary taste.

I'll never question that again.

I'm not going to think about her anymore. I don't need to think about Peter or Archimedes, either. They're all people doing something else I'm not meant to be part of.

They never cared that much. It's immaterial. I have to get it out of my head, its my job. It's not worth caring about.

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