HK Blog

I have consumed no less than 7,000lbs of Baklava over the course of 72 hours. God... I fucking love Baklava... I hope they burn Israel to the ground. This has been a glorious day. The flow is so sublime today. Therapy tommorow, I can get the transfer tommorow. Yeah this money growing old like grand... parents. Dude... day so good I had to get focused just to make sure I don't backslide too bad. What did I hear about Sudan today? Nothing. That's bothering me. We were talking about boycotts during Thanksgiving. My solution to politics at Thanksgiving comes in two stages: Archimedean Analysis, and Playing The Dozens. The Dozens is when you roast someone/something competitively. Anything someone says that seems conservative or disparaging can be ignored by simply saying something funnier than the rightoid can muster to counter. Man I am NOT in the correct mindset to be blogging. I'm usually supposed to be romantic or wistful or poetic or moody. Right now I'm floating on a c...

I need this move in to be smooth. I need this to work. I need something to work. ... We're at a juncture where music is keeping me out of traffic. Will this bitch ever have a good day? Fuck off. I'm having a good day. I just know that I'm not what my peers would like me to be yet. I know. I know it. I don't pass well enough to sell the honesty of my emotions and intentions. Everything I do will be filtered through the lens of "this is a confused man." Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do. The progress isn't fast enough for anyone. There are only so many people in my life who believe me. Only one of them lives near me. Hmm. I'm stuck in these working class jobs for the rest of my life if I can't force myself to be more like what pleases everyone else. It's not helpful to know what is true or untrue, healthy or not. The right thing doesn't work, does it? Whatever. I'll tell you why I'm processing everything so late: ...

Right now I'm walking laps around the indoor track at work listening to the Egyptian singer Sherine. She had a song that has become associated with the Palestinian Liberation Movement. What I'm sure some of you might know about the Spanish language is that it is greatly influenced by Levantine and Maghreb Islamic culture alike. This is mostly a result of the Moroccan Al-Andalus imperial rule over Spain, I won't waste time over the history. But if you listen to Spanish, in the Americas and in Spain, you will hear a similar pace and tonality in its spoken word to that found in Arabic dialects. What I think flies under the radar is how similar Latin music, both their more traditional/folk stuff like Norte as well as their Jazz and dance music and beyond, shares a lot of DNA with Arabic world musical styles. I'm listening to Sherine's live performance of Ana Alby Eleik Mayyal . I'm always hearing the same flavor of vocal runs here as I hear in Norte. In Arabic world...

Before we begin, please click the link to donate to Manal's kids Despite everything, you seem to hang on. You still believe in me. I don't know why. But you're still watching me. Even though it feels like I've done everything to push you all away. My brain has a hard time with understanding the concept of being supported or cared about. I don't say that to seem unique. I mean to say that I don't understand how it works for other people. My parents love me, my friends love me, and I don't know why. I love them, and I see so much beauty in them. I don't see much of anything in myself. They say within low self esteem hides a sort of narcissism or arrogance. It's a self obsession predicated on guilt and shame👎👎. I'm learning to understand that I must think less about how I measure up to everybody else. I have to remember what I know that I am. I'm tossing all of my alcohol. The Jager, the Miller, the Cider, all of it. All gone. All of it. I don...

Right now, I'm back on a Nirvana kick. It's a little too irreplaceable. The song Pennyroyal Tea is having an all expenses paid vacation at the front of my head. Kurt's lyrics can feel cerebral to the point of inspiring paranoia. Before that, I was listening to groovier stuff, sort of in a cute harmonic kitsch... gave me all the wrong feelings. And what wouldn't make it worse than hearing that song, About a Girl. If only you guys could talk to her. If you could hear their voice, if you could see her face, you'd understand. Immediately. My entire mindset shifted a little yesterday. I saw my friends, my friends! And they looked great! Talking to them, they seemed fine, too. As in, their lives are going well, yknow. Archimedes stays involved in their activism, and Cronkite is working remote, he'll be moving to Europe! I'm gonna miss him, he's one of my best friends. I hope they treat him well over there. I really do... I'm a little sleepy. We split after...

紺位wagwan 皆slimes, Toronto語を勉強する、ネ、eh？ The fieldhouse hosts a staff full wonderful people, all very easygoing, and understandable in their drive towards getting through the day. They seem to like me. It's nice to work somewhere where we're all just friendly coworkers, and not a "family." Top left, crodie . Nobody feels entitled towards territorialism at a new rec center where most of the staff didn't know each other prior to their assignment here. Things are balanced just the right way here, for what I'm getting paid. Which is still basically nothing, by the way. 32k. My sister makes more than twice that, she's the best. I'm not sure if we knew growing up that we'd both be working with kids, but I guess God likes to bless people in roundabout ways. Making even one of the kids laugh keeps me going for days and days. It was easy to get over my guilt and whatever when I could talk to my coworkers, and get to know them better. Working with the elderly a...

Some people are simply not right in the head. They are simply too immature and hopelessly romantic to handle the idea of having someone's trust in their hands. I am definitely one of those people, good Lord. It was obvious I was wrong when it became apparent that she'd never make that trip down just to talk to me. That's when I knew I was off the mark with how she felt. What a hopeless sod I am, I even told her, I'm down to head up there whenever. And I meant that. If I could be a bitch for minute? I made a reckless, careless decision yesterday, and I don't regret it.  I confessed my feelings to Titania, over text. What a screw-up I've been, and yet... I feel like, whether it goes well or not, I finally let the truth have it's day. I finally ruined a friendship. I've never done this before. I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. She'll likely bring the hammer down at some point, cause I have NOT gone about talking about it...